Glitches & Drama

June 30, 2011

If pain is an option, I tell you all no one will choose it. –mb

Favorite kong topic ang pain at nostalgia. Dito kasi bumubuhos ang lahat ng emotions ko, kaya mas nakapagsusulat ang inyong lingkod. Ito rin kasi yung part nagiging totoo ako at lumalabas ang tunay kong pagkakakilanlan bilang tao sa likod ni MB.

Sa kasalukuyan, I’m in pain and there’s no shame in admitting it. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it’s the situation pero I know I am accountable to all of these. I feel sorry because I had the situation pero hindi ko naanticipate lahat ng to na ganito magiging consequence at ganito kasakit.

Nong mga nakaraang linggo, pain came in with its sting. Nakakainis kasi walang kahit anong pain killer na naimbento para alisin ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. It’s killing me so much. I was hurt. She was hurt. He was hurt. We’re all hurt.

I wanted to say how sorry I am sa kanya because I failed to show kung gaano ko siya sobrang ka mahal that it led her to consulting her x. It pains me to know na instead of me. Tinatakbuhan niya si x whenever we encounter glitches.

But here I am, still holding on. Still hanging because ganon siya ka importante sa akin, ganon ko siya ka mahal. Alam kong mahal niya si ex at mahal din siya ni ex, pero mas mahal na mahal ko siya.

Sometimes, kahit gaano ka illogical and unreasonable ang mga bagay bagay minsan mas pinipili ng mga taong magpakabulag para indi nito maramdaman ang sakit. Lahat naman siguro, hindi agad agad bibitaw hanggang may nakikita siyang pag-asa. Pero mali ba yun? Mali ba na ganito ko mag mahal? Todo kon todo at kapag nagsaktan, wasak kong wasak?

Katulad ko, mas gusto kong paniwalaang maaari pa itong maayos at maisalba kaya ginagawa ko ang lahat ng paraan. It’s a battle I choose to win. So help me God.

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